Goofy girls don't get the guys. Must be more mysterious.....
It says so on ASKMEN. Practically everyone to meets me knows my life story already =P
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Lust!
I am once again in lust my dear readers. I have kept him a secret from my friends so far because, well... The dude kinda looks like a serial killer... BUT a gentle one! Like, one that would whisper kind words into your ears while slitting your throat.
On a happier note, I will be going to Exxotica on Friday! Yay!
On a happier note, I will be going to Exxotica on Friday! Yay!
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Monday, August 15, 2011
The Playboy Bong
Me: "OMG! A playboy bong! I want it I want it!"
Lily, the unreasonable sister: "Stupid, you don't even smoke!"
Me: "BUT IT'S PLAYBOY!"
Lily: "What, so if there's a playboy crack pipe you'll get that too?"
Me (*thinking..... thinking....*): "Yes"
Lily, the unreasonable sister: "Stupid, you don't even smoke!"
Me: "BUT IT'S PLAYBOY!"
Lily: "What, so if there's a playboy crack pipe you'll get that too?"
Me (*thinking..... thinking....*): "Yes"
Friday, August 12, 2011
Hollywood Improv
Had a great time at the Hollywood Improv. I got to see Bobby Lee (shirtless), and that guy from Tropical Thunder... The one that sings about "Booty Sweat".
I love comedy clubs like how most guys love strip clubs... I get all flustered and develop a small crush on all the comedians..
Like a pervert at a strip club... I have the urge to throw dollar bills at them, and in my head I'm thinking: "I wanna fuck him- And him- And him..."
I love comedy clubs like how most guys love strip clubs... I get all flustered and develop a small crush on all the comedians..
Like a pervert at a strip club... I have the urge to throw dollar bills at them, and in my head I'm thinking: "I wanna fuck him- And him- And him..."
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Party Rock Vegas!
Went with: Orlando, Frank, Martin & Sonia.
[Sunday]
Had 4 chocolates to give to everyone. It melted like soup in 7 minutes.
Heading to Vegas.
Fell asleep.
Woke up with drool all over my face.
Announced in a hoarse tone that I was very thirsty. Helpful Frank offers me hot Cheetos.
Get to Vegas.
Sonia and I claimed our bed.
Martin throws all his crap on the GIRLS bed than laid his nasty sweaty body all over it.
Orlando falls asleep.
Sonia makes a ton of drinks and forced everyone to drink (this was like... 3 PM)
Walk to CVS, was attacked by many porn promoters. We all collected a bunch of the porno cards.
Gets to hotel.
Decides it is a great idea to cover sleeping Orlando in porn.
Orlando wakes up because we could not stop laughing.
Sonia jumps on him and calls him a "bitch".
Frank gets the penis pillow and pretends to butt rape Sonia.
Sonia gets the second penis pillow and pretends to mouth rape Orlando.
Martin gets the porn and poses next to them. *I take a pic*
Frank, Sonia and Martin goes to the pool.
Orlando is still sleeping.
I go to ROSS to hunt for Playboy things. They failed me.
Being drunk and angry, I demand the manager show me their stock list book.
Walk back to hotel and shower.
I sit on bed and start to apply makeup.
Orlando starts yelling like if he were about to level up to super saiyan.
I look over. He doesn't even move... Just kept screaming.
Suddenly, he sits right up and looks at me.
It does not help that I am covered in white sheets and my face is pure white from powder, plus I had no eyebrows. I looked like an Asian ghost.
Orlando curses for 20 seconds straight, than falls back to sleep.... ?????
The rest gets back. Everyone gets ready to go to Club Voodoo.
Sonia makes tons more drinks.
Orlando gets drunk first and starts to do gay stuff like finger Martins butt... Lick Martin's crotch... Blow Martin's penis... Etc etc (I HAVE ALL THE PICS TO PROVE IT)
Frank gets drunk. Sits there all emo.
Sonia gets drunk and lays on top of the guys randomly.
Martin gets drunk and wouldn't stop checking himself out in the mirror.
Orlando falls off bed. Frank laughs and spills alcohol on his crotch.
Orlando tries to hold a cup with his tongue and ends up spilling his whole cup (full) on to Martin.
We leave for the club.
Frank is dazed and confused. I turned around and he was just staring at his feet. Sonia had to hold his arm and lead him.
Martin walks ahead talking to himself (And hitting on random jailbait white girls)
Orlando decides to collect porn cards.
Frank gets sick and Sonia is tired of carrying him.
Martin collects lots of porn cards, stopped in the middle of the street, threw them all in the air screaming: "WEEEEEEE!". The Mexican lady who handed him the cards cursed him out.
Sonia complains her feet hurts.
Frank starts to ramble nonsense about being too drunk. Orlando decides to help by going up to him: "Here hold the porn!"
Martin continues to walk by himself and talking to himself.
Orlando thought the Mcdonalds sign was a big penis.
Sonia announced she is going back to the room because her feet is killing her.
Martin picks her up: "I GOT YOU!", took two steps, than drops her on her back.
Sonia is pissed and says to go on without her.
Martin insists on going to Club Voodoo even if its by himself.
Frank was speaking unintelligibly.
Orlando continues to collect porn.
So it was decided Martin and Frank take Sonia back to the room.
Orlando says he hasn't had anything to eat all day so we go off to get food and meet up with Martin & Frank later.
Orlando and I get to SWEET FACTORY and gets food.
Martin apparently started talking to a guy asking him for weed and told him we were going to "Club Woohoo"
Later, Sonia text me saying the guys are passed out.
Orlando and I get back to the room to find everyone sleeping.
Frank and Martin are holding hands... And Martin still had a half eaten chicken nugget in his mouth.
End of day 1
[Sunday]
Had 4 chocolates to give to everyone. It melted like soup in 7 minutes.
Heading to Vegas.
Fell asleep.
Woke up with drool all over my face.
Announced in a hoarse tone that I was very thirsty. Helpful Frank offers me hot Cheetos.
Get to Vegas.
Sonia and I claimed our bed.
Martin throws all his crap on the GIRLS bed than laid his nasty sweaty body all over it.
Orlando falls asleep.
Sonia makes a ton of drinks and forced everyone to drink (this was like... 3 PM)
Walk to CVS, was attacked by many porn promoters. We all collected a bunch of the porno cards.
Gets to hotel.
Decides it is a great idea to cover sleeping Orlando in porn.
Orlando wakes up because we could not stop laughing.
Sonia jumps on him and calls him a "bitch".
Frank gets the penis pillow and pretends to butt rape Sonia.
Sonia gets the second penis pillow and pretends to mouth rape Orlando.
Martin gets the porn and poses next to them. *I take a pic*
Frank, Sonia and Martin goes to the pool.
Orlando is still sleeping.
I go to ROSS to hunt for Playboy things. They failed me.
Being drunk and angry, I demand the manager show me their stock list book.
Walk back to hotel and shower.
I sit on bed and start to apply makeup.
Orlando starts yelling like if he were about to level up to super saiyan.
I look over. He doesn't even move... Just kept screaming.
Suddenly, he sits right up and looks at me.
It does not help that I am covered in white sheets and my face is pure white from powder, plus I had no eyebrows. I looked like an Asian ghost.
Orlando curses for 20 seconds straight, than falls back to sleep.... ?????
The rest gets back. Everyone gets ready to go to Club Voodoo.
Sonia makes tons more drinks.
Orlando gets drunk first and starts to do gay stuff like finger Martins butt... Lick Martin's crotch... Blow Martin's penis... Etc etc (I HAVE ALL THE PICS TO PROVE IT)
Frank gets drunk. Sits there all emo.
Sonia gets drunk and lays on top of the guys randomly.
Martin gets drunk and wouldn't stop checking himself out in the mirror.
Orlando falls off bed. Frank laughs and spills alcohol on his crotch.
Orlando tries to hold a cup with his tongue and ends up spilling his whole cup (full) on to Martin.
We leave for the club.
Frank is dazed and confused. I turned around and he was just staring at his feet. Sonia had to hold his arm and lead him.
Martin walks ahead talking to himself (And hitting on random jailbait white girls)
Orlando decides to collect porn cards.
Frank gets sick and Sonia is tired of carrying him.
Martin collects lots of porn cards, stopped in the middle of the street, threw them all in the air screaming: "WEEEEEEE!". The Mexican lady who handed him the cards cursed him out.
Sonia complains her feet hurts.
Frank starts to ramble nonsense about being too drunk. Orlando decides to help by going up to him: "Here hold the porn!"
Martin continues to walk by himself and talking to himself.
Orlando thought the Mcdonalds sign was a big penis.
Sonia announced she is going back to the room because her feet is killing her.
Martin picks her up: "I GOT YOU!", took two steps, than drops her on her back.
Sonia is pissed and says to go on without her.
Martin insists on going to Club Voodoo even if its by himself.
Frank was speaking unintelligibly.
Orlando continues to collect porn.
So it was decided Martin and Frank take Sonia back to the room.
Orlando says he hasn't had anything to eat all day so we go off to get food and meet up with Martin & Frank later.
Orlando and I get to SWEET FACTORY and gets food.
Martin apparently started talking to a guy asking him for weed and told him we were going to "Club Woohoo"
Later, Sonia text me saying the guys are passed out.
Orlando and I get back to the room to find everyone sleeping.
Frank and Martin are holding hands... And Martin still had a half eaten chicken nugget in his mouth.
End of day 1
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