My mother no english

[Juicy]

Mom: "Do you know any Juicy people?"
Me: "What the- HUH??"
Mom: "You know Juicy people... JUICY JUICY-"
Me: "Stop it! Shouting it just makes it all the more creepy!"
***Have my mother gone mad and became a cannibal?***
Me: "Mom... What are you talking about?"
Mom: "Juicy people.. The people that Hitler killed"
Me: "OHHHH! You mean JEWISH!"
Mom: "Yes, Juicy"
Me: "Forget it mom, just promise me you will NEVER ask someone if they are juicy"
Mom: "Juicy... Isn't that also his name?"
*Mom points at a board with a picture of Jesus.*



[A Bastard]

Mom:in chinese "What's the English word for the the highest ranking diplomat?"
Me: "Ummm... Ambassador?"
Mom: "A-bastard?"
Me: "Nooo mom, AM-BA-SUR-DER"
Mom: "AHHHH-BASS-TURD"
Me: "No"
Mom: "A-BASTARD! A-BASTARD!"
Me: "Mom! Screaming the wrong word isn't making it right! You are saying a very bad word!"
I explained the word "bastard" is like the Chinese bad word "Turtle egg".
My mom got really excited she learned a new bad word and kept repeating it randomly through out the day.