I am worth 5 dollars

Markis: "You should date my friend"

Me: "Oh? Why?"

Markis: "So I can get free comedy tickets"

Me: ".... Aren't they like, only 5 dollars?"

*UPDATE*

Markis sends me a pic of the guy.... HORRBILE pic of the guy.

Markis: "Well? What do you think?"

Me: "Wtf Markis, that's a horrible pic, he looks high"

Markis: "So? What do you think?"

Me: "I duno man... I mean... His pic didn't make my dick shrivel up and die... But it didn't make it hard either... You get me?"

I am still debating. I haven't gone on a "date" since The Hangover 2 so I guess it's about time...

I'll probably be dead by tomorrow

This all happened half an hour ago......

I'm researching on the computer for homework (aka watching porn) and suddenly there's a soft knock on my window. I ignore it thinking it's just the wind when a minute later, it knocked again!

Freaking out now, I walk to my cousin Jessica and whispered: "Someone is knocking on the window"

Jessica: "Really? Someone knocked on our window a week ago around 3 am.... 5 times ! But you were sleeping and I was too scared to wake you up"

Me: "WTF! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING THE NEXT DAY??!!"

Jessica: "I forgot"

Freaking out even more now, I go to my baby brother's (he's 17) room.

Me: "Jason, someone knocked on my window, will you please check?"

Jason: "Alright let me get my gun"

Me: "WTF! WE HAVE A GUN??!!"

Jason: "Get the dogs"

Me: "WHAT THE HELL ARE OUR 2 CHIHUAHUAS GONNA DO??!!"

Anyways, he checked and no one was there... But I'll still probably get murdered :(

Ok so about 5 minutes ago, wait wait let me back track. I went to the gym today and my personal trainer, (whom I call him "Nazi Director"... but lovingly...) made me work out so much my legs basically are dead. Anyways, I get home and change into my pajama pants. I put it on and did a little jump while I pulled them up- And my legs just gave out and I went up on the floor crying in pain.

I hope the rest of you are having a better night than me... Goodnight.

Hacked on facebook

So stupid-ass me left my facebook running in school. Someone deleted all my stuff, and wrote on my wall: "i really want to suck some big fat black dick my pussy is wetter than a river"

So a lot of ppl commented... One of them was MY TEACHER!! I could die of embarrassment right now...

Granny Panties

So a few weeks ago, my mom came to my room and asked: "Would you like these?"
I looked, and she was holding... The ugliest, biggiest, redest granny panties I've ever seen.

THEY WERE HUGE (thats what she said) AND SOOOO UGLY!

I burst out laughing and took it.

To be funny, I actually put them on and went to show my sister, of course she freaks out and screamed: "EWWWW WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!"
I danced around a bit to gross her out more. We both laughed. But after a few minutes I realized.... Granny panties are a lot more comfortable than thongs... Its like having soft pillows on your ass...



Shhhhh... I still have it.

Sexy webcaming FAILED

Yesterday I was at school and the teacher put on a looong boring slide show.... So I went on facebook and tried to webcam chat with "C" (the person that sat 2 seats away from me).

We can't actually talk, so I wrote a note and held it up like this:


He wrote back:
"WAKE YO AZZ UP!!!"

So than I had a great idea to write and send him this:

But right when I held that up against my chest.... The teacher decided to turn around and talk to the ppl in the back row.... And he looked something like this:

So ya when the teacher turned around... He saw me..... Looking like this:



He wasn't happy, but he didn't put me on blast either.

So my strip tease webcam career was cut short. :(