Dear Diary

Wow. I just found this entry from an old diary.

October 14, 2007:
"Long long sad sad story... I am giving up men forever... I shall be a hairy lesbian now."

There was no explanation. I wondered what happened. And no, I am not a hairy lesbian now.

My penis, named TREE

Enrique: "What's up?"
Me: "My boner"

Oh that reminds me of a story...
...about how mature I am...
One time, my goth girlfriend decided to go on a date with a sweet virgin Christian boy...
I duno what posse her to decide it was a good idea for him to meet me.
When I heard he was innocent, I knew I had to stuff my crotch with socks and pretend I had a penis.
I named my penis, "Tree"

It turned out the christian boy had a sense of humor and took it well :)

Talked to the eye candy

So I talked to the "eye candy" for the first time in school. I couldn't stop fantasizing about us having sex. I am pretty sure my eyes were just oozing lust (in the creeper way). I am also pretty sure I was drooling a bit. It took a lot of might to speak in normal English and not scream out: "STICK IT IN ME!!!"

I am so not smooth when it comes to hot guys I like =[

Text Fail

Another misspelled text gone wrong. I meant to ask a friend if he wanted to go to the mountains and play in the "snow".

"Hey foo. Wanna go play in the shower with me?"

Esther shouts: "LAKERS SUCK"

Markis, Esther and I are walking in a bad part of downtown L.A

Esther suddenly had the urge to shout: "LAKERS SUCK!"

I shove Markis away yelling: "SHIIT LETS LEAVE BEFORE WE ALL GET BEAT UP!"

Right then, a scary cholo looking man comes out screaming: "WHO SAID LAKERS SUCK?"

Throwing Esther to the wolves, I pointed at her crying: "SHE DID SHE DID"... SPARE OUR LIVES!