LONG LIVE ICE CREAM

Ice cream is amazing. I believe it is the cure to all things. When people get sick I tell them to eat ice cream, they usually laugh at me. Ron was the last person to do so. He ended up in the hospital for 2 months and lost like 60 pounds, that's like 2 pregnancies.
As soon as he woke up from his coma, I visited him and showed him the card I made him- Which was a drawing of an ice cream cone and the words: I TOLD YOU SO
I then lectured him how he should have listened to me. It was pretty awesome cause he couldn't argue back- Being how he just came outta coma.

Ice cream... yum yum yum

Fast Five!

I just came back from seeing FAST FIVE.
It was awesome.
I cried.
I'm the only one that cried.

After the movie, 2 securities stopped me and asked to check my purse for cameras and cellphones, they even made me open up my wallet. I was the only one that got checked. James had an explanation for it: "They stopped you cause you are Asian, and they think you will record the movie and sell it in Korea Town"

Car wash fail

I must remember I now have hot neighbors... And washing my car in my captain underpants shirt with my batman boxers is not attractive... Especially when you are soaked.

Maybe my hot neighbor will have a thing for Asian girls looking like a drowned rat in batman boxers? *crosses fingers*

Blah. I am doomed to stay single forever.

Btw I washed my car. This means there is a good chance it will rain tomorrow.

I am so annoyed. This kid is always hinting about me going out with his fat friend. His friend looks like a white baby elephant, and no one wants to screw that.

I am the Rain Man

I have magic powers.

Every time I wash my car, it will rain the next day. Even if they forecast it to be over 100 degrees the next 5 days, it will rain if I wash my car. I am like the rain man, except instead of using a large piece of wood filled with ummm things that make it sound like rain- I will get out a bucket, soap and sponge.
Seriously, I should just travel around the world in my little car, visiting farms that need rain and offer my service.

Hmph.

My mother no english

[Juicy]

Mom: "Do you know any Juicy people?"
Me: "What the- HUH??"
Mom: "You know Juicy people... JUICY JUICY-"
Me: "Stop it! Shouting it just makes it all the more creepy!"
***Have my mother gone mad and became a cannibal?***
Me: "Mom... What are you talking about?"
Mom: "Juicy people.. The people that Hitler killed"
Me: "OHHHH! You mean JEWISH!"
Mom: "Yes, Juicy"
Me: "Forget it mom, just promise me you will NEVER ask someone if they are juicy"
Mom: "Juicy... Isn't that also his name?"
*Mom points at a board with a picture of Jesus.*



[A Bastard]

Mom:in chinese "What's the English word for the the highest ranking diplomat?"
Me: "Ummm... Ambassador?"
Mom: "A-bastard?"
Me: "Nooo mom, AM-BA-SUR-DER"
Mom: "AHHHH-BASS-TURD"
Me: "No"
Mom: "A-BASTARD! A-BASTARD!"
Me: "Mom! Screaming the wrong word isn't making it right! You are saying a very bad word!"
I explained the word "bastard" is like the Chinese bad word "Turtle egg".
My mom got really excited she learned a new bad word and kept repeating it randomly through out the day.

Arthur!

Just came back from watching the movie "Arthur" with Ron. I loved it! I loved it!
Ron hated it, probably because it didn't have explosions and boobs.
I admired the awesome cars in the movie. When I said this, my evil little brother said: "Cars don't make a good movie".
As the mature older sister, I had to shout back: "YOU DON'T MAKE A GOOD MOVIE!"

Goodnite.

P.S I was really annoyed that after I washed my car, I got sick and didn't drive for 4 days, than today I find my car covered in bird poop. Thanks a lot birds. I'm going to eat more chickens now.

I need a social life

[Last night]

Me: HEY!!
C: Hey
Me: Wow we are such losers huh. Online on a saturday night =]
C: Fool im at club roxy on my cell

Laundry mat embarrassment

Keep in mind I've been very sick for the past few days so this would have happened to any one of you guys too!!!! (Ok so I admit I am the only idiot that would do this)

Yesterday, I had to go to the laundry mat to wash my clothes because I have bled, puked and pissed on all of mine. As I was waiting for my clothes to be done (bored as hell), I noticed there was a vending machine for you to buy fake teeth. I love those. I bought two.


I didn't have a mirror, so I used the background of the stuff animal machine. I tried it on and cracked myself up. As I was pointing and laughing at myself, a hot guy walked in. I stared at him with my jacked up teeth.
I was so embarrassed I couldn't even just played cool. I ran to my car and hid till my clothes were done.

Another reason why I am doomed to be single forever.

Hello world!

So I decide to share my life adventures to the world. Unfortunately, my adventures will be nothing like a real adventure like going into a temple of doom. It'll be mostly filled with me making a fool outta myself in some way and probably bitching a lot about being single and not getting laid.

So enjoy!

P.S The hot chick on my logo is not me. Sadly.